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April 18 Finding "The One"From the time we're little girls, women long for the day when they find "the one"; that one man that they KNOW, without a shadow of a doubt, they'll spend the rest of their lives with. Movies play it up to be this fairytale moment when birds sing and the earth stands still. I had that moment the other day and, well, I gotta tell you.....it's pretty damn similar.....didn't hear any birds, just the bustle of the lecture hall I was in, but the earth stood still..... My relationship history has been....well.....it hasn't exactly been Cinderella-esque, by any means. I thought I'd been in real relationships before but, this is different. Jeremy is amazing; absolutely amazing. He's the most amazing man I've ever met in my life, and I'm proud to be the girlfriend of a US Marine. I'm the luckiest girl in the entire world....I've got this fantastic man and I get to spend the rest of my life with him. Gosh...I get butterflies whenever I think about it!!!! We've been together (off and on, mind you...more on than off though....) since October 21, 2006. In September of 2007, we had a falling out.....biggest mistake of my life......and I feared I'd never see him again. Not a day went by that I didn't think about him or the plans we had made, and it broke my heart. He contacted me when he got back from boot camp....and it was the best day of my life. I'm never letting him go again. I love him more than anything in the world and he's the best thing to ever happen to me. Yes indeed.....this Cinderella has finally found her Prince Charming =] March 31 Just A Blip Lately, I've been feeling just really shitty about life; like I'm just completely worthless to society. Physically, yes, I've always been self conscious....but I'm just at an all time low now. I'm borderline anorexic....I keep track of EVERYTHING I put into my body and if I eat something and I think it was too much, I go into total meltdown mode. Every time I look in the mirror, I see someone that needs this nipped or this tucked or her fat ass and stomach sucked out. I just feel terrible about myself and I honestly don't know why. People compliment me, yes, but it's hard for me to believe they're sincere. I've been used.....so many times......so any time I'm complimented I just think "Oh...wow...probably just another douchebag that thinks I'm an easy whore...." or "They probably want to hang with me just so they can laugh at me behind my back" I also am trying to break my habits of getting so excited about things......yes, you read that right....I'm trying to stop getting excited about things. Every single bloody time I get excited about something (i.e; a trip, a visit from someone, etc), I always end up disappointed. I guess I'm just trying to get used to disappointments, because lately it seems that's all been coming my way. Ok, so I know this sounds like a pity party note....but I just need to blog my feelings...makes me feel better. I just want for one day to go do something and not think that people are staring at my lovehandles or my gross stomach. I want to go out to a restaurant with my family and not have to worry about "oh god...how many calories is this? Maybe I should just order a small appetizer or something....". I want to be able to look forward to something and have it actually happen. I just wanna feel normal and have fun......and perhaps more than anything, I want to feel like I belong somewhere. Right now, I just feel like I'm this blip on the radar screen that's not worth anything to anyone, and I gotta tell you, it's one of the most miserable feelings a human being can feel. Regardless of how I feel, I keep on going every day just to try to make something of myself, hoping SOME DAY I'll be worth something. I just don't know anymore......a couple weeks ago I was feeling like I belonged.....and now I just feel like the only thing I'm good at is being a blip....I'm just a blip....nothing more..... Just a blip December 26 My 50 Things I Want To Do Before I Die List...The Updated Version1. Make "music" with a classical pianist on a grand piano 2. Be A Soccer Mom 3. Skydive 4. 5. Get A New Car 6. Date A Hot Pianist (This one should probably go before #1, shouldn't it...) 7. 8. Make the Dean's List in college 9. Swim with dolphins 10. Learn Hungarian 11. See the great wonders of the world 12. Buy a Yorkie and name it Brody 13. See Adrien Brody in Person 14. 15. Get Married 16. 17. 18. Keep a Chia-Pet alive long enough so it grows really big 19. Not Trip on graduation day 20. 21. Buy a Racehorse 22. Learn to play the bass 23. Have Sex In An Airplane Bathroom 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. See a Chippendale's Show 29. Give Tom $20 30. Make a snow angel on the sidewalk downtown 31. Parasail 32. 33. Meet Yo-Yo Ma 34. Visit Greece 35. Visit Hungary 36. Visit Italy 37. Visit Russia 38. 39. 40. Dance on a car hood 41. Drink a Moolate without getting sick 42. Buy a speedboat 43. Be a Lawyer 44. 45. Find Little Mister Noble County 1996 46. 47. Sing publicly 48. Host a benefit dinner 49. 50. Accomplish everything on this list June 01 Boys Are Icky.....I have officially decided that I am going to convert to Catholicism and become a nun......because boys are icky......  January 21 50 Things I Want To Do Before I DieOk, last night I made a list of 50 things I want to do before I die. Some are stupid, some are intelligent, some are insane, but they all are things I'd like to accomplish before I die (though some are next to impossible) 1. Make "music" with a classical pianist on a grand piano 2. Be A Soccer Mom 3. Skydive 4. Prove to Mr. Baker that I DO NOT hate cripples and sick people 5. Get A New Car 6. Date A Hot Pianist (This one should probably go before #1, shouldn't it...) 7. Tell people how I really think 8. Make the Dean's List in college 9. Swim with dolphins 10. Learn Hungarian 11. See the great wonders of the world 12. Buy a Yorkie and name it Brody 13. See Adrien Brody in Person 14. Shoot Par 15. Get Married 16. Try a natural childbirth 17. Not kill my husband/boyfriend/fiance (hopefully husband) while attempting #16 18. Keep a Chia-Pet alive long enough so it grows really big 19. Not Trip on graduation day 20. Get into IU 21. Buy a Racehorse 22. Learn to play the bass 23. Have Sex In An Airplane Bathroom 24. Take Vocal Lessons 25. Make it to state 26. Not injure myself during the golf season 27. Tell the important people in my life that I love them more often 28. See a Chippendale's Show 29. Give Tom $20 30. Make a snow angel on the sidewalk downtown 31. Parasail 32. Hit A Pinata on the first try......and not my dad 33. Meet Yo-Yo Ma 34. Visit Greece 35. Visit Hungary 36. Visit Italy 37. Visit Russia 38. Ride through the open plains of the west 39. Not get lost while doing # 38 40. Dance on a car hood 41. Drink a Moolate without getting sick 42. Buy a speedboat 43. Be a strings teacher 44. Win a raffle 45. Find Little Mister Noble County 1996 46. Win An Oscar 47. Throw an opening pitch 48. Host SNL 49. Get Fake Boobs 50. Accomplish everything on this list Well, I hope that this was entertaining for y'all. Chao Loves Rach December 29 Titles...sounds like Tilests....which means GOLFI've got a lovely bunch of coconuts....dedlydee....there they are a'standing in a row...bumbumbum....big ones small ones some the size of your head.....
Ok, so that has NO relavency what-so-ever to my title....but I don't care. It's almost 11:30 at night, I took a little too much Nyquil or however you spell it.....so I don't have to make sense. December 04 My Life Is A Perpetual Roller CoasterI don't understand it. Just when I think that my life is beginning to look up, all hell breaks loose. And, due to the fact that many of my friends are miserable, I cannot really talk to them about my problems because then I feel like a completely selfish bitch. *Sigh* I just need a hug......leave me some comments y'all..... November 18 *Wishes*He's so gorgeous....*sigh*....how I hope things turn out the way I want them to!!!! October 19 A Few Things That Irk MeHere is a list of some things that IRK ME beyond all belief. If some of them offend you and I didn't mean it, I'm sorry....if they WERE intended for you.....just shove it up your *censored* Thank You.
-My stand partner. She thinks she knows EVERYTHING there is to know about the violin. Well, sorry honey. You don't. Oh, and FYI, your vibrato doesn't cover up your bad intonation like you thought -Lunch Ladies. They stare at you and make you feel like you're retarded. -Gay Men Hitting on my Boyfriend. HELLOOO?! Do you NOT see me on his arm? This OBVIOUSLY should be a sign that he's a VERY straight guy....and trust me....he is... -High Light Fixtures. I'm short.....the light is out.....I don't like the dark (well....depends who's with me)...self explanitory, I do believe. -Lame Ass Poser Gangstas on Xanga. Darlin', I'm sorry, but if you're name is Edward and you are an upperclass catholic school student, it's not very good for your street cred, now is it? SO...stop acting like you're from the Bronx. -People who let you see their smiles fade. Ok, so if you don't like me, just effing tell me and I'll let you get on with your pathetic little life. So, there are some things. More to come.... October 10 Why must everything have a damn title?I just thought I'd announce to the world that tomorrow will be 10 months for me and the most wonderful and loving man in the entire world. I wouldn't trade these last 10 months for anything in the entire world....
 I Love You Eric!!!October 01 Nothing Like Coffee and Oreos in the MorningWell, I do say that it has been a while since I've posted on this. If anyone even READS this, go to my Xanga site: www.xanga.com/Miss_Rach_2007 . I post on there almost every day....well, most of the time it's almost every day. So, if y'all want to know about my life.....read the xanga  June 15 Come See Me In "Phantom of the Opera"!!!Hey y'all! You need to come see me in WN Community Theatre's summer production of "Phantom of the Opera"!! I'm Christine Daae!!! It's gonna be awesome! May 18 Favorite Theatre Quotes"theater is life, film is art, television is furniture." -unknown "The Play is the Master and I am it's Whore!" ~Charles Jeffries "Acting is the art of speaking in a loud clear voice and the avoidance of All the world's a stage. Some of us just have better seats. Broadway is a place where people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't need to impress people they don't like. -Sir Henry Wotton May 09 Reasons Why RachL's Weekend RockedOk, here are the top 10 reasons why my weekend was so spectacular 10. I got to see my boys, all 3 of them 9. I got to go golfing with Jacki (NO MORE GDS!!!! YAY!!!) 8. I had a nice long talk with my hairdresser about adopting from China 7. Due to that conversation, my parents are planning to adopt a baby from China 6. It was Prom 5. I got to spend all of Saturday with some of my bestest friends 4. I got to get all dressed up and dance the night away 3. I got to Make out with Eric on the dance floor 2. It was me n' Eric's 5 monther 1. More than once, Eric told me he loved me and he meant it (that's the greatest feeling in the world!) May 06 Yawn....Tomorrow is Prom! Woo and Hoo......Jillie, BrookeLyn and I are gonna have to show the West Noblians how the Drama Girls whore it up. Hell Yeah!!! MUAHAHAHA! May 03 Hmm, this is interestingHello to everyone out there in MSN Land. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Rachel Christine Gillespie, I'm 16 years old and I'm from an almost non-existant town in northern Indiana. I'm currently a Sophomore at West Noble High School. Let me see, things I'm involved in.....I'm a proud member of Theatre 33, WN's AWESOME drama club; I'm head of the WN orchestra (woo and hoo); I'm on the golf team; Member of SADD, and I'm hoping to add National Honors Society to my list next year Now, Let me think....Favorite things... Band/Singer- Josh Groban, Joshua Bell Actor(s)- Adrien Brody, Gerard Butler, Joaquin Phoenix Musical- The Phantom Of The Opera Movie(s)- The Phantom Of The Opera, Napoleon Dynamite, Ladder 49, The Pianist TV Show(s)- Committed, CSI, Law & Order: SVU, American Idol, I Love the 70s, 80s, 90s, Saturday Night Live, MadTV, Will & Grace Sports- Equestrian sports, Golf, tennis, and swimming Food- Italian....anything Italian Well, I think that's all for now ~RachL~ |
My hobbies...hmm....Well I enjoy spending time with my boys: My boyfriend, Eric...and my 2 horses Thereputic Pleasure and Ali Babba. I LOVE going horseback riding and dancing. I also like to play my violin for hours on end. It really calms my nerves.|
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